Bullying/Ragging and the Different Aspects

Have you ever been bullied, seen anyone else bully or being bullied? What did you think of it? Was it just people being mean, or was it just people having fun? No, it wasn’t anything that can be described with the adjective ‘just’. While bullying in schools is more prevalent in Western cultures, ragging is what actually grips Indian college students. Bullying and ragging are basically different names of the same phenomenon, which is, in the simplest of words, repeated belligerent behavior towards a person, group of persons, usually as a means to satisfy personal need, resulting in prolonged psychological consequences to both the parties.

 People who have been bullied or ragged, at those crucial moments can’t help asking themselves “why me?” thus contemplating whether it is in themselves where the problem is located; but it isn’t. It has nothing to do with the victims’ strength or weakness or the inability to ‘properly’ self-defend, but depends on their responses to general stressful situations. People who bully are the ones psychologically incompetent to deal with the insecurities or complexes inhabiting their mind. It can also be said that it is a form of paranoia, and the consequent tendency to identify threats where they don’t exist, that makes them be aggressive to fellow students, (colleagues or subordinates in case of office-bullying). A bully, whether a child, a teenager, or an adult would recognize an indifferent slip-up made by someone (say being accidentally pushed) as a form of intended aggression, and in guarding or avenging themselves from this misapprehended aggression, they become aggressors themselves. However these aggressors do not see themselves in the wrong, given that their initial perceptions of society are mistaken already; and since some of their supposedly harmless actions garner laughs, or any other sort of attention from others, they fail to understand what others actually think and how deep the effect of their actions might go. So basically, such behavior isn’t plain attention-seeking, thus ignoring is not the simple solution. If the victim does not resist, appears quieter, or physically weaker than the bully, and gives in, the latter singles the former out for future psychologically satisfying antagonism. It is interesting to note, that somebody who has once been a victim, can later on become a bully when in a different environment.

In India, a lot of people and cultures that take part in ragging/bullying activities will come to its defense on the reasoning that it is a tradition – which they want to keep alive, but in part it is because they have experienced it themselves and it is only fair that they shouldn’t be the only ones. The act of aggressive ragging/bullying is said to build character in students to face the ‘harsh world’ outside campus. Right now you would probably shake your head derisively at this argument, since it’s written down like this, but imagine yourselves as a part of that culture, when you are trying to be a part of your peer group, maybe it would be a nod then. The thing is that often, in colleges, seniors and juniors engage in ragging activities to bridge the gap between them, and as long as it stays in that playful limit, nobody is harmed. However, when it becomes a power play, when it is attempted ‘to show’ the ragged one ‘his/her place’, that’s when it becomes traumatic.

In western countries, the scenario is different where teachers or professors, even if they know of the bullying activities, they just deem it ‘kids being kids’ incidents. Also, kids in western countries shy away from reporting such incidents because of the fear of being publicly ridiculed as a ‘tattletale’ or a ‘spoilsport’.

Be it India, or the West, the ragging/bullying behavior comes into critique only when death or severe trauma is involved. However, even if some ratio of victims did not commit suicide or were not mentally affected in an apparent manner, the trauma they underwent does not become any less serious. Nowadays bullying and ragging have their own social profile on the internet that is cyber bullying, so one doesn’t need to be in the same building with his/her bully anymore, he/she would be bullied 24X7 through cellphones and computers.

So what is the solution, i.e., if there is any? Bullying and ragging behavior has to be nipped in the bud by careful monitoring through adult guidance, namely parents or guardians of their children. There are ways to know if a child is a potential bully; such a child would show aggressive behavior at home too, would be interested in depictions of violence far advanced than its age. Similarly, it can be known if a child is submissive enough to be a victim. It would be prudent to introduce into children the healthy habit of talking about whatever is bothering their minds, and to make them understand the difference between needs and necessity. Bully behavior most commonly has roots in some sort of frustration, and attempting to know what it is and what can be done about it is definitely a way to prevent such antipathy.